Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in jycaegima's InsaneJournal:

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Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
11:05 am	I am in the midst of interviewing hell. For some reason, the job applications freak me out more than the actual interview. It is as if I am supposed to list any redeeming qualities I may be able to exhibit for eight hours a day in a tiny little box that barely fits my name. Also, I keep interviewing at places you would expect to be professional dress only--like law firms--and yet somehow I manage to be the only person wearing a jacket. I think I'm doing well, but at this point I never want to speak about myself again. EVER! (Comment on this)
Friday, August 31st, 2007
7:31 pm	Is it insane I feel guilty that I didn't get a higher score? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
1:23 pm	I know it is stupid, but I feel strangely accomplished. I haven't had a cigarette in over two months. It wasn't a program, a patch, gum, or anything like that. One day I smoked the last in a pack and just thought, "Nah." And it is okay.  I sometimes want one puff more than nearly anything, but I'll live. I didn't know I had all that much willpower anymore--especially at this tail-end of two years of nothing.   Apparently things can get better and sometimes, it is just nice to have proof. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
12:45 pm	I just read an amazing story. My sister and I watched Slings & Arrows the whole series all the way through. The show is something extraordinary. I am not usually fond of behind-the-scenes stories, but there is something beautiful, fragile, and brilliantly mad about the whole venture. I had only seen Paul Gross in Due South and I am now in awe of the man. There is a moment when he performs some of Ophelia's lines and it is painful and chilling and I am ridiculously sad that there are only three seasons of this. Anyway, I finished watching the third season and as is my usual response to the end of a story--I looked for fan fiction. God, did I find it! This is the first story I saw and it hurts to read and feels like broken glass running through one's veins, but it is perfect. Eurydice by Rillarilla Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
12:17 pm	I just read an amazing story. My sister and I watched Slings & Arrows the whole series all the way through. The show is something extraordinary. I am not usually fond of behind-the-scenes stories, but there is something beautiful, fragile, and brilliantly mad about the whole venture. I had only seen Paul Gross in Due South and I am now in awe of the man. There is a moment when he performs some of Ophelia's lines and it is painful and chilling and I am ridiculously sad that there are only three seasons of this. Anyway, I finished watching the third season and as is my usual response to the end of a story--I looked for fan fiction. God, did I find it! This is the first story I saw and it hurts to read and feels like broken glass running through one's veins, but it is perfect. Eurydice by Rillarilla (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007
8:16 am	Eugh. Why on earth is there such a horrible thing as summer colds? Seriously, my entire respiratory system seems to be filled by a solid block  of snot and my teeth feel furry from the cough drops. Yuck. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 3rd, 2007
11:59 pm	Sometimes it seems that there is no hope in the world. http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?ItemID=10157 (Comment on this)
5:40 pm	Re: Another Round of Deletions I'm sick and possibly incoherent, but here's the thing: I read a lot of fanfiction.  I am not, however a very forward person, in life or online.  Thus I am, and always have been, a periphery member of fandom. However, whether the deletions and corporate dilly-dallying affected me personally isn't the point.  These deletions had very little to do with me.  They did however, set a precedent in that they confirmed that Livejournal sees itself as the arbitrator of the morality within its user-based content. This will not win me any popularity contests, but I am not comfortable with a blogging/social networking service that  will cheerfully censor that user-generated content--not in accordance to the law that it is bound by, but by the individual morality of a handful of its employees. It is well and good to blow people off with vague allusions to a cohesive TOS-violation strategy, but the inability to rule concretely on issues and shifting what rules are to govern your posters daily is not sensible, nor will it put out the various public relations' wildfires. Many people are gnashing their teeth and contacting advertisers, as the users are obviously not the bottom line at this point.  I don't particularly blame them.  I am possibly just left of John Stuart Mill so it is not surprising that the idea of people being censored for thought crimes, rather than anything concrete, scares the crap out of me.   I have created a back-up journal or two and am simply waiting.  I can only imagine what the next policy freak-out will be, but as the last time this occurred it was at the behest of an openly homophobic and hate-mongering group and Livejournal has yet to actually disassociate their corporation from those policies, I doubt another insane guideline shift is very far away. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
1:54 pm	I have not had a cigarette in over a month and seriously, I was fine until yesterday. Suddenly, I am craving like mad and I realize that it isn't as strong as the last time, but God--I miss the ephemeral taste and smoke on chill nights when it is hard to distinguish between it and water vapours. Maybe I just miss winters, I don't know. As a distraction I am making a playlist of every seriously depressing song I could name. So far, it is small, but any suggestions would be appreciated. List: -Keren Ann's version of Suicide is Painless -The Smiths - I Know It's Over -Nine Inch Nails - Hurt -Tim Buckley - Dream Letter -Toad the Wet Sprocket - Pray Your Gods -Negative - Dying Feelings -Billie Holiday - Strange Fruit -Gloomy Sunday - pick a version, any version (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007
5:45 pm	Would you believe... So apparently someone finally beat the ever-loving crap out of Andy Dick, an action which everybody who has ever met him or even felt his miasma of bullshit hover over the Hollywood Hills, can appreciate. The perpetrator... Jon Lovitz. Talk about someone snapping that you never quite expected. Story Link HERE... (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 14th, 2007
10:55 am	Not so happy with the gossip... Apparently, according to the Defamer, Mandy Patinkin missed the first table read for the next season of Criminal Minds. It has been opined that this is another step in an argument with the studio. I really hope that their estimates on what will occur are wildly out of the ballpark. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
10:49 am	Kwik E Mart Fever So yesterday afternoon I saw that the Seven Eleven down the street from me was one of the twelve converted for the release of the Simpsons movie. The strange part is that the line to the store was wrapped along the building and included a bloody rope line and a bouncer. Last night at ten or so, the same line was still long enough to wrap around the building! (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 30th, 2007
2:33 pm	Snippet of a Fic He fell against the grey concrete, coughing up the bright red dust that could not quite be filtered out. He watched the sun burn into a puddle drenching the horizon and prayed that night would come quickly. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
9:53 pm	Utopia ~~> Doctor Who (Spoilers) I really hated the final episode in the Family of Blood arc and I thought that I would stop watching the show. Then Blink happened last week which was scary, brilliant, and actually utilized the sheer confused-impasse that is time travel. I mean--a Doctor Who episode with pretty good internal continuity? Who ever would have thought?  ( This week (spoiler alert)... ) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
11:35 am	George Carlin It was decidedly odd. I got an old George Carlin DVD off of Netflix and last night my sister and I watched it. It had been recorded early in the Reagan administration and every joke was topical to the present. I thought history seemed to be repeating itself, but as I was barely alive at the time, I thought I could be imagining it all. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
1:42 pm	Poker Masquerading as Philosophy (and Doing a Bang-Up Job) I have noticed that the best advice is always found where one least expects it to be. I have been researching poker strategy recently and I have been having fun playing with the statistics and everything, but one rule popped up that gave me pause. It is something that is so straight-foward and common sense that it seems inane that it had to be stated. Once I read it however, it was painfully obvious how true this was not only of a game, but also my own life for the past couple of years. Mike Caro's Threshold of Misery states that once you have crossed the threshold at which mental and emotional pain is maximized, any further loss will not register. Thus you be asked to make critical choices when you are unable to care about the choice and/or the result. The answer is that one must carry on as if you are able to care, which seems ridiculous to say, but, oddly, it is necessary to hear. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 15th, 2007
9:26 am	That Old Ewww Feeling I haven't had a cigarette in 8 days. More like 7 days and 11 hours actually. The first day hurt. The 2-5 were actually not to bad. The last two days, however, I have been contemplating kissing the first person on the street I see with a cigarette, just on the off chance that their molars have some nicotine to spare. Eugh! (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 10th, 2007
11:51 am	Surreal and probably TMI I just had my vibrator explode--while I was using it. I am fighting an attack of the giggles right now. Miniature fireball shot out of the end and everything. I wasn't hurt--luckily--,but my blanket is singed. Such a strange day. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
4:32 pm	Grr I just walked to the post office for no apparent reason. Two packages that should have been in a month ago have yet to arrive and I got to walk through the evil Santa Ana winds just to be told that sometimes packages just take awhile. Grr! (Comment on this)
Friday, April 20th, 2007
9:15 pm	Rant On A Sensitive, Inflammatory Subject. I am going to preface this by saying that this is a really personal thing. I am writing this mostly because I am really annoyed and feel the need to spew all of this out before I start punching the walls. Keeping that in mind, I feel the need to give fair warning. This thread is the subject matter.... ( Cut for length  ) (Comment on this)